found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
