I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
