Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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