Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I currently don't understand fingers.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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