let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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