Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
