I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
