i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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