google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
