It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
