3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I need to stop coming to work sober
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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