I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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