Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
