Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
