You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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