i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
