I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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