I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
