walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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