we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
