The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
