so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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