yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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