But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
