i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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