dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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