I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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