"it" just moved
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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