During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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