it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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