I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
