thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
