I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
