So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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