I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
