I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
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He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
