White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
