Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
