Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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