summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
