i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
