HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
