Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We talked him into tasing himself.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
