What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
