I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
