Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
