Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
