you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
