she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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