I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
