The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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