is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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