You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
