whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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