and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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