Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
