Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
